Anonymous asked - "Dear Sir. I am considered to be submissive with masochistic tendencies. I wanted to learn more about the rules and such of BDSM scenes and generally into the BDSM lifestyle.. Do you have any recommended reading or knowledge for me? Many thanks from diana"

I and my kitten are of the mindset that BDSM and it’s related lifestyles is what you and your partner make of it. In this we believe that there are no “rules” strictly speaking, except for those set down by your Dominant partner/s; Each persons relationship in BDSM is different. Many couples we have encountered find it strange that I and my kitten are also romantically engaged, rather than just the Dom/sub relationship dynamic. In short, you should only adhere to the rules that your Dominant lay down for you, and then without question or complaint. 

There are some assumed social guidelines when with other people in the scene; for instance, if someone has been in the scene for longer than you, and offers you advice, it is in your best interest to take it, even if not put into practice. BDSM is something that you learn and gain experience with over time, and I’ve found that generally the elder people in the scene are more than willing to offer strongly helpful advice. Another “guideline” of BDSM is to remain open to all of the different types of relationships and activities, and to not take offence or discriminate against other couples if they are of a different BDSM relationship dynamic. 

My kitten has taken her time in going through our BDSM book collection, and suggests that you read the fictional novel “Wicked Ties” by  Shayla Black. Whilst being slightly soft in comparison to other texts, my kitten has claimed that it is the reason for her love of BDSM. Apart from this, take it upon yourself to research activities and aspects that interest you about the BDSM lifestyle. 

Have Fun

Sincerely Sir.